My Favourite Ways Not to Get Skin Cancer

Another post with the tag “summer”. What else would you expect? I told you that I’m super keen for it!

This time, it’s a list of my Favourite Ways Not to Get Skin Cancer. Because who wants skin cancer? Not me, that’s for sure. And I’m guessing not you, either.

When I was in high school, and going swimming became more of a social thing than just a way to cool down, my father instilled in me a FEAR OF GETTING SUNBURNT. I can’t remember how he did it, but now I am terrified to burn my skin. So I would apply copious amounts of sunscreen, and put on a shirt, while all my friends turned into sundried tomatoes. And still wouldn’t learn their lesson.

BLISTERING (literally blistering) SUNBURN IS. NOT. A. GOOD. THING.

So! Here’s a list of my Favourite Ways Not to Get Skin Cancer

1.       I shouldn’t have to tell you this one. Sid the Seagull has told you enough times. One more time can’t hurt though, so SLIP. SLOP. SLAP. Slip on a shirt, slop on some sunscreen, and slap on a hat. I think they’ve also added “slide” to the list, as in Slide on Some Sunglasses.  It’s not that hard, is it?  You’re probably insecure about your itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny bikini anyway, so covering up will help you there, too. Sunscreen might be greasy, and it might smell, but you can get ones that aren’t and don’t. And even if they do, having all layers of your skin is definitely an upside. HATS ARE COOL. WEAR A HAT. Enough preaching at you here… this is meant to be a list, not me yelling haha.
(But seriously. Slip, Slop, Slap.) (Slide.)

(picture taken from

2.       As an alternative to sunscreen, you could cover yourself head to toe in coloured zinc. That would be effective. And a statement. What better way is there to show off that you haven’t burnt your skin by colouring it purple? (If you do this, please show me pictures haha)

3.       Carry a parasole. As Candice DeVille shows, it’s super-dooper cool.

4.       Build an underground cave. Not only will this help you keep cool, the sun won’t even reach you! You may also make some little crawly friends. New friends are always nice.

5.       Trees are shady. Shade is good, therefore, trees are good. Make a tree house. Then have ice cream parties in your tree house.

6.       Become nocturnal. If you only leave your house at night, you won’t even be touched by the sun’s rays, and won’t even have any chance of being burnt. Try and convince the rest of your community to also become nocturnal so that you can still buy groceries, have human contact, etc.

7.       Play in mud puddles. Pigs do it! BECAUSE THEY DON’T LIKE SUNBURN EITHER. If you let yourself get sunburnt, PIGS ARE SMARTER THAN YOU. Think about that for a minute.

8.       And then put some more sunscreen on. Reapplication is key. Don’t forget to do your face.  And your lips. Sunburnt lips are Hell. Sunscreen, sunscreen, sunscreen

8 responses to “My Favourite Ways Not to Get Skin Cancer

  1. But you forgot about No. 9 – Go out in the sun anyway and hope for the best 😛

  2. I think I might build an underground cave-that sounds nice and cool- we can play with the cave people…or i’ll buy sunscreen.

  3. Great article!! Just letting you know Sid the Seagull now also says Seek (It’s actually on the picture you have on the post) which is for seeking some shade (which I know you mentioned later). I have a CD with the sun smart song that goes through all 5 steps so hopefully I can educate the students in my class next year. 😛 But I’m 100% with you, us fair skinned people (and everyone else of course but us especially) need to look after ourselves.

  4. hahaha.
    i wonder if you could make zinc tax-deductible if you covered all your skin in it? maybe if you worked outside…

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